1- Always, ALWAYS make sure you have at least 3 or more standard napkin tissues or a towel around to wipe off your sperm thoroughly after you ejaculate. This very important law is relevant whenever you are masturbating in front of your computer or TV and there is no water source (like the bathroom) is near.
2- Don't try to ignore the first rule and run off to the bathroom to wash your penis after ejaculation because A)you run the risk of being seen by another person inside the house if the house is not empty B)There is a big chance that while walking to the bathroom, the sperm on your penis will wipe on your clothing and make them dirty, which is not good.
3- Always make sure the space (room, livingroom, bathroom etc.) you are going to masturbate in is secured from ALL SIDES. that means doors, windows, trapdoors etc.
4- Make sure your clothing and under clothing is safely a distance away from your penis while masturbating because the sperm tends to "fountain" out when ejaculation occurs and it may land on your clothing. very bad thing to happen. trust me.
5- Always try to have your pubic hair shaved. cleaning the sperm stuck inside pubic hair is BIG and FRUSTRATING trouble.
6- Always mind the Volume of the porno you are watching. DO NOT IN ANY WAY TURN THE VOLUME TOO HIGH EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY THINK YOUR PARENTS,FRIEND,GUEST ETC. are too far to hear. the screaming cries of a woman's orgasm while getting fucked WILL draw attention from a million miles away.
7- After the cleaning and wiping of the sperm from your penis and hands is done, make sure you look thoroughly through all your clothing proximate to your ejaculation area to be certain that there is no sperm soiling anywhere.
8- always put all the spermy napkins inside a clean napkin and make a nice little ball of napkins so A)the spermy ones wouldn't stick to anywhere unwanted and B)the fucked up smell of your sperm stays inside and doesn't spread. then dispose of the "Sperm ball" as I call it, as best as you can. Don't throw it inside your room's, Kitchen's, bathroom's trashcan. its smell will draw attention. It's always best to throw it out the window (if you live in an apartment like me) or go outside and throw it outside in the alley's local trashcan or whatever. Just somewhere away from closed space.
9- after masturbation, the penis will stay erected for at least 2 minutes. don't go in front of anyone when this is true. Everyone's attention will be drawn to that big thing inside your pants.
10- Be precise with your masturbation process. Don't waste too much time sitting around and doing nothing after the ejaculation has occured. Anyone might be wanting to come through that door any second so quickly clean everything and dispose of your sperm napkin/towel/whatever ASAP.
11- don't forget to TURN OFF THE PORNO (if you're using one to masturbate to) as soon as your ejaculation sequence and orgasm (which takes about 10 seconds for me personally) phase is over!
12- stay calm and conscious of your surroundings. if someone tries to barge into your room in the middle of your masturbation, stay calm, relax, turn off the porno, put your pants back on and make sure they don't look shabby and then gently walk to the door and open it for them. if they asked why the door was locked, tell them you were studying, sleeping, working on a project etc. and didn't want any interruptions. Whatever works in your home ;)
13- Don't masturbate too much! It draws too much energy and bodily resources. just do it whenever you feel it's been long enough since the last time. You be the judge of that :)
There it is people. The tips I have for all the other guys who masturbate (and that's pretty much ALL OF YOU WHO ARE READING THIS)
2- Don't try to ignore the first rule and run off to the bathroom to wash your penis after ejaculation because A)you run the risk of being seen by another person inside the house if the house is not empty B)There is a big chance that while walking to the bathroom, the sperm on your penis will wipe on your clothing and make them dirty, which is not good.
3- Always make sure the space (room, livingroom, bathroom etc.) you are going to masturbate in is secured from ALL SIDES. that means doors, windows, trapdoors etc.
4- Make sure your clothing and under clothing is safely a distance away from your penis while masturbating because the sperm tends to "fountain" out when ejaculation occurs and it may land on your clothing. very bad thing to happen. trust me.
5- Always try to have your pubic hair shaved. cleaning the sperm stuck inside pubic hair is BIG and FRUSTRATING trouble.
6- Always mind the Volume of the porno you are watching. DO NOT IN ANY WAY TURN THE VOLUME TOO HIGH EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY THINK YOUR PARENTS,FRIEND,GUEST ETC. are too far to hear. the screaming cries of a woman's orgasm while getting fucked WILL draw attention from a million miles away.
7- After the cleaning and wiping of the sperm from your penis and hands is done, make sure you look thoroughly through all your clothing proximate to your ejaculation area to be certain that there is no sperm soiling anywhere.
8- always put all the spermy napkins inside a clean napkin and make a nice little ball of napkins so A)the spermy ones wouldn't stick to anywhere unwanted and B)the fucked up smell of your sperm stays inside and doesn't spread. then dispose of the "Sperm ball" as I call it, as best as you can. Don't throw it inside your room's, Kitchen's, bathroom's trashcan. its smell will draw attention. It's always best to throw it out the window (if you live in an apartment like me) or go outside and throw it outside in the alley's local trashcan or whatever. Just somewhere away from closed space.
9- after masturbation, the penis will stay erected for at least 2 minutes. don't go in front of anyone when this is true. Everyone's attention will be drawn to that big thing inside your pants.
10- Be precise with your masturbation process. Don't waste too much time sitting around and doing nothing after the ejaculation has occured. Anyone might be wanting to come through that door any second so quickly clean everything and dispose of your sperm napkin/towel/whatever ASAP.
11- don't forget to TURN OFF THE PORNO (if you're using one to masturbate to) as soon as your ejaculation sequence and orgasm (which takes about 10 seconds for me personally) phase is over!
12- stay calm and conscious of your surroundings. if someone tries to barge into your room in the middle of your masturbation, stay calm, relax, turn off the porno, put your pants back on and make sure they don't look shabby and then gently walk to the door and open it for them. if they asked why the door was locked, tell them you were studying, sleeping, working on a project etc. and didn't want any interruptions. Whatever works in your home ;)
13- Don't masturbate too much! It draws too much energy and bodily resources. just do it whenever you feel it's been long enough since the last time. You be the judge of that :)
There it is people. The tips I have for all the other guys who masturbate (and that's pretty much ALL OF YOU WHO ARE READING THIS)
1 comment:
simply the best blog i've read :)).
fantastic.
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