We are mostly after the concept of a matter more than the real thing.

I could have been anyone.

Now I'm just nobody.

Oh, Persephone!

A heavy burden rests on my weakening shoulders. I am in the dungeon of the dragon, the fire breather, the destroyer. Inside her maws I struggle to grasp for breath.

On and on, every single moment it gradually increases the pressing of its jaws around me. I can feel the skin bruised and burned by the hot breath of the creature as I gasp for air and freedom from her suffocating clutches.

I am stuck in oblivion. A living hell. The greatest tormenting of the soul ever possible upon the plains of earth.

...I am almost dead...

No, YOU listen

The process of learning can be absolutely painful indeed. It will tear you apart outside and inside.

I am in awe of what my karma has brought to me. I am in absolute awe.

This pain is so beautiful.

listen

It's not so hard when you think about it...

The haunting

I'm still here. Am I happy?

Am I happier? Yes. I feel more complete. I feel like I have learned lessons in life that I could never have learned if I never ventured forth into the unknown, even though the bruises still remain.

I have a purpose in this world that I am still not aware of. But I am starting to feel that simply by being and experiencing this plane, I'll be able to ascend to higher levels of consciousness.

That is what I desire.


I'm still here.

Cliche' of the day

Today I expressed myself much more than usual. I let my opinion be heard and stood my ground and didn't back up.

It feels really good. I wasn't sober per se, but at least I said what I wanted and it felt wonderful and liberating and people were impressed and I was impressed with me.

Good day... good day.