Thursday, August 30, 2012


I am so lost. I don't know what I want in life. I don't know how to meet other people's expectations. I am so scared that I will fall from the great image that people have created of me.

I feel like I am betraying myself, my body, my soul every single day. I feel worthless and pitiful. Success has no sweet taste for me anymore. Duty and passion are but fleeting ideas which barely make it out of the murk of my rusting mind.

I feel this much closer to being dead.

Monday, August 13, 2012

And everything was pouring out of me

I have lost contact with the things I thought I had in my grasp. I am hyper sensitive to people's feelings toward me. I have no ego but I play so many roles. Every person brings up a different pre-defined character in me.

You have never seen the real me.

And sometimes I think I haven't seen it myself either...