Monday, August 24, 2009

Digging up graves

I was looking through an old CD with some of my old computer's backup files and I found a little log file which had a few lines of some chats I had with a girl I used to know (and love, at a point). It was like I got thrown back into time and space and remembered bits and pieces (good and bad) about what happened between us.
It was full of happy and sad moments. we talked about so many things. personal and not so personal. we used to play this game where one of us closed his eyes and the other would try to send a color pattern to the other's mind through telepathy. It was so much revealing and fun (when it actually worked and our guess was correct.) Oh so many things I'm not going to bother and think about all over again.
It made me shiver. I don't know what to feel. I didn't know what to feel then. maybe a blind sense of passion and love was all I hung unto. I don't know. I can't care anymore. But it's like pushing aside your sleeve and looking at old wounds. Now just barely visible, but still there. right in front of you like it was the first day you cut them open and blood gushed out like there's no tomorrow. how did everything happen so quickly?
What the hell even happened?
I don't know. I can't remember. I just can't remember anything. I feel like I've forgotten so many crucial moments of my life.

I'm even forgetting her face. What she looked like. her voice. (her voice is hard to forget though. It's all I ever had from her in a long time)
Maybe this CD will go in the trash tomorrow. maybe not.
Moving on is hard. But what else are we supposed to do in the end?