Thursday, December 1, 2011

My top stuff of 2011

Top METAL ALBUM:
PIG DESTROYER - TERRIFYER

TOP INDIE ALBUM:
STARS - SET YOURSELF ON FIRE

TOP MOVIE:
PSYCHO - BY ALFRED HITCHCOCK

TOP PERSON:
MY DAD.

TOP EVENT:
COMING TO MALAYSIA.

TOP ASSHOLE:
ME.

TOP GAME:
BAYONETTA

TOP FUCK UP:
KILLING ONE RELATIONSHIP FOR ANOTHER WHICH NEVER HAPPENED.

TOP TV SERIES:
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

Terra


I feel guilty for liking incurable conditions such as AIDS or cancer because but I'm too afraid of the earth's over-population.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Whore

You pathetic, sociopath whore. To think of all the things I wasted on you.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Marvin (part 2)

Marvin thought he's loosing it when he heard whispers from behind him where he was sitting. This had been happening for a few days now. At first he thought it's the neighbor's television or conversations bleeding through the walls but it really wasn't. He started feeling sharp pains in his left shoulder. This had started from two nights ago. He generally hadn't felt so well for a month or two now. He thought maybe all that masturbation is catching up to him. He changed his thought.
He knew he had school assignments to finish but he just couldn't get around to starting or finishing them. He wondered why he doesn't like spending time on his assignments anymore while he spent twice that time or maybe even more aimlessly walking around his room, surfing the internet (mostly for downloading porn) and masturbating.
Once when he was getting ready to come while masturbating to a porno he closed his eyes and switched his thoughts towards the girl he likes so much in school. He thought about her naked and in bed with him. But suddenly it felt so bad and wrong to him that he almost lost his entire erection. So he had to start masturbating to the porno again. That was one of the worst masturbation sessions he ever had in his life.
After he came, a few tears started rolling down his eyes partly because his body hurt entirely and mostly because the thought of the girl he likes kept disturbing his momentum and concentration and it felt wrong. So wrong.
Marvin didn't know if he had fallen in love with the girl or it was just another one of his delusional episodes. One day he shoved the assignment he was busy with (for about 10 minutes) aside and started thinking to himself why he liked that particular girl so much. He tried counting down what made her so adorable to him. So hopelessly irresistible.
He couldn't do it. Not because he didn't have points to add to his list but because he hated making lists like this. It was below what he truly felt for her. It was like he didn't like the individual parts about her but as a whole she made him feel happy inside.
The voices behind his back kept talking about how to get rid of bloating corpses and amphetamines.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Marvin (part 1)

Marvin got out of bed at 12 pm. It seemed like he hadn't slept for ages but he still felt bad for waking up so late. He brushed his teeth and walked over to the fridge. There wasn't much in the way of a breakfast to eat so he just picked up an apple and started biting down on it.
He walked into his room by 12:30 and turned on his computer. The first thing he checked was his Email. He was expecting something from someone for a while now. But it still wasn't there. After checking the updates on a few more websites he opened up his usual porn hangout. He browsed through it like it was the most normal thing to do in the world. Lesbians, MILFs, threesomes, interracial, big boobs, small boobs, camel toe, on the bed, on the couch, in the kitchen, in the shower.
This made him horny. He opened up his porn archive on his computer, chose a simple one-on-one porn on the couch and masturbated to it. He came and it felt good for about 3 seconds and it was back to the old normal world. He cleaned himself up and went to check a few other websites he hadn't crossed for about a week now. They had nothing interesting to say. That's why he rarely checked on them. They consisted of news and hobby websites. They were mostly boring. He considered removing them from his favorites bookmark but he decided to leave them there just in case he has nothing better to do but to actually check them out.
He lighted up a cigarette and started smoking it (a bad habit he hated but could never let go of it for some reason even he didn't know about).
He wondered if he could ever make a girl he likes in school fall in love with her. the thought was pleasant to him but just like masturbation, only for about 3 or 4 seconds. Then the taste in his mouth started to turn sour because he knew that this will probably never happen.
But he was used to making up dream worlds and living inside them before they came tumbling down on his head and hurting him. And for this girl, he wouldn't mind getting hurt. He wouldn't mind at all.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

what

I close my eyes and I'm standing in the middle of a field. The bushes are green and the meadows are golden. The sky is cloudy and I can hear water running in a shallow river somewhere nearby. Out there in the horizon I can see rows of pine trees stretched as far as the eyes can see.
There's a gentle breeze touching my skin. It's coming from the mountains behind the rows of trees in the distance. There's some snow scattered on top of them.
There's a flock of wild deer running through the vast meadows below the hill I'm standing on top of. there's a big old tree spreading its many branches to create a large shadow beneath it. I'm standing in its shadow.
I know I have a little hut behind the hill somewhere. Where the fire is burning beneath a kettle with water inside. The wooden logs crackling gently.
Home.

Monday, October 17, 2011

There's a black hole shaping inside me. But it's not because I'm lacking something.

It's because there are too many things to handle. Emotional and otherwise.

Hey, future Hamed! I feel so bad right now.

[Edit 03.06.12: Hey, past Hamed! No changes here. Same old shit. Keep hoping.]

Monday, September 12, 2011

i


I am the one feeding on your pity.

GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

supa


My friend just did a Chinese girl.

He has super powers I tell ya.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Sometimes it's better


Sometimes it's better

To not be

and swim forever

in ignorant bliss

sometimes it's better

to look away

and imagine being an astronaut

floating outside yourself

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Fuck this shit

Oh fuck I've lost half my porn. Fuck.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011



دیشب با کمک دوستم


باد


داستانی برای ستاره ای تنها تعریف کردیم

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

OUROBOROS



Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me Stop deforming me

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Them Stones...




I W T H S W M O S W I T I T H M I T W A I W T S T B D A K








I'm barely controlling it. God help me.....

Monday, May 23, 2011

White Dream


Meet Jennifer White, my favorite porn star ever.
I love her so much that I'd marry her.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Sticky


I lay my love on you, it's all I wanna do

Every time I breathe I feel brand new

You open up my heart

show me all your love, and walk right through

As I lay my love on you

Monday, March 28, 2011

Interesting little thing...


Some Pornstars love their job, and some may not.

But both kind have their own group of admirers.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Satisfaction

I am in one of those stages in life that I am extremely happy with it. I am at peace. I'm loving life.

I am extremely thankful for this fact. I hope it'll last. And most of all, I wish to become who I am truly meant to be. That is all I ask.

Friday, February 25, 2011

The Wonder Of It All

Water.
Which living organism in the entire earth do you know that does not need water?
The answer is: 0. Absolute 0.
Now which living organism do you know that doesn't "like" water or its taste?
The answer is again, 0. Absolute 0.

Imagine the awesome power of the basic strands of your existence which is called Your DNA. The have hardwired your mind somehow that the taste of water is without a doubt the most favorite taste in your mouth. Why? Because you need it to stay alive. Your DNA needs it to stay alive.

Life is the most precious thing. Even in the eyes of a bunch of molecules.

Friday, January 28, 2011

2 Life-Changing Anime Shows For Me


1- Neon Genesis Evangelion: I've always loved cartoons with mecha in them. Robotech, Gundam, Overseer Alpha, you name it. But I can with complete clarity and assurance tell you that my favorite among them by far is Neon Genesis Evangelion. Written and directed By Hideoki Anno, the series is not only about giant badass mecha, but it has some very deep roots in human psychology, Behavior analysis, Depression analysis, Philosophy and Religion.
It touches upon so many personal issues and human characters (which are the most human I have seen in any animated show) that they're uncountable. Highly sophisticated and deep, every watch shall not only bring you joy but also awe you with its inspired story and highly emotional art and characters.

2- Ranma 1/2: A comedy masterpiece with a VERY interesting twist. A boy who turns into a girl when he comes into contact with cold water (hot water changes him back to a boy). This very small twist is not only very funny and highly original, it also adds a whole roller coaster of different amazing plot points and drama to the action. The stories may seem light-hearted but dig a little deeper and you'll see just how intricately the emotions of a young boy and girl (Ranma's beautiful tomboyish fiance who won't accept Ranma as her future husband) who are depicted in every episode. You will laugh, you will smile and you will definitely cover your eyes from utter confusion or drama. The pair fight each other because of the silliest things but as the episodes go by and they get to know each other, you'll see the amazingly deep love they find for each other.
And let's not forget the superb masterpiece animation, beautiful character design and art and storyline.
And when it's all over, not only do you miss Ranma and Akane immediately, you may actually have your eyes fill up with tears when they say their final words in the final episode:

*Akane looking at the camera, the wind blowing in her hair and dress*
Ranma: Are you looking for something Akane?
Akane: Nope, I'm done.
Ranma: Ok, let's go!
Akane: See Ya!
*both run away together towards the end of the street and their school*

god... Maybe I'm crazy but I find things like that so beautiful that 90% of you may not even understand how overwhelmingly beautiful they feel for me. It's like when you fall in love. It's like you are over the clouds for a few minutes.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Realization

I have a classic, 80Gb Apple Ipod.
I've had it for almost 4 years now. I have had it with me no matter where I go. And it's been working for me like a dream in every single condition.
But I had taken it all for granted until I lost it one time for a day.

That was when I realized, I am utterly and deeply in love with my Ipod. It has helped me through emotional difficulties and has lulled me to sleep with its music almost every night.

So, I guess I love it.

I must so creepy right now. lol.

Monday, January 3, 2011

fear


you know I rant about how shit this country is and how I'll never have a future here.

And yet when a serious possibility arouses that I may leave here soon by next year I can't help but be scared like hell.

I am scared.

God I am so scared.