Here's a little something I dug up from an old file. Wow. I had forgotten all about it. I remember this being a little story I wanted to put on my "2tadige" blog. But I thought nobody would either care or understand it because my posts mostly served as filler material until His Majesty "Lohrasp", the king of all pimps posted something. :-L
Leonard sat alone in his dim-lighted room. The florescent kiss of the moonlight lamp was hugging the air around him. Everything looked much paler and bluer than normal. Especially the six-shooter in Leonard's left hand. The wooden chair he was sitting on squeaked like a sick little rat trying to gnaw its own heart out. He thought how comical it would be if the chair broke from underneath him and let him fall to the ground with a big Thump. It never happened. He might have forgotten his motives if it had. but it didn't.
His breath was constant and mechanical. He felt thirsty. like there was weed growing in his throat and they needed water. He swallowed with pain but the spit wouldn't even reach beyond the end of his tongue. The ringing in his head was getting louder by the minute. He had to do this if he was sure about it. He wasn't sure about it. He thought he was the morning he woke up and loaded the gun with the bullets he had hidden under his mattress. He knew his target. He knew how to use the gun. He knew he had a responsibility to end what he had the power to end. But his finger wouldn't budge. As if it were cut off by volunteering itself.
He didn't move. the chair still squeaked underneath him. He didn't hear the ring anymore. He dropped the pistol and buried his aching head inside the palm of his sweaty hands and whispered to himself something about streams and waterfalls. He remembered a quick cut of a dream he had the last night. It was about these magic glasses that would enable him to grow wings and fly whenever he wore them. Or something like that. It was beautiful. He was sure it was the most beautiful dream he had ever had in his whole life.
Leonard got up from the chair and walked to the kitchen sink. Turned on the tap and buried his face inside the stream of pouring water. He felt the water rub away on his face and he felt his face go numb as the water got colder and colder. And then he imagined he's flying high up in the air. wearing his magic glasses.
Flying like an eagle in the innocent glory of the bright blue early morning sky. far away from the noise. far away from the world he grew in. far away from the pains and miseries of being a human living amongst other human beings.
It was beautiful. But he didn't forget to take his pistol with him.
Just in case.